I'm still catching up on blog posts, although I'm actually caught up to the current month in my books. July's book was The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. It is my "book recommended by a friend" (who also takes care of Junior Mate for me two days a week).
I was going to do a book recommended by First Mate (one that he's been trying to get me to read for several years, actually). I even started that book, but this one is more pertinent to my life situation right now. You see, I come from a long line of packrats. We save stuff because we might need it in the future. We save stuff because we're too busy and/or lazy to do something with it right away. We save stuff because we feel guilty getting rid of something someone else gave us. (This one is actually deeper than this - my mom and I both have gifts as a love language, so getting rid of something someone gave us feels like getting rid of the person's love.) We save stuff because there are too many memories attached to the things. I am having trouble keeping our place tidy - both in terms of clutter and actual cleanliness. I've been thinking that maybe if I pared down my belongings some, it would help. In steps my friend with this book. He loaned it to me to read. The timing is perfect because we are moving, and I would like to start with a clean slate at the new place.
Over the past few years, my mom and I have been slowly moving away from this and toward letting more things go and cleaning out - simplifying. As I've been clawing out of the depression that set in when Junior Mate was born, I've recently been trying to really declutter. Our upcoming move feels like a perfect opportunity to do this; start with a clean slate. This book is incredibly helpful for people like me for a few reasons. It gives you a simple guideline for how to decide what to keep. (Kondo prefers to talk about what you should keep, rather than what you should discard, because it has more positive connotations and feels less oppressive.) The guideline is whether or not the item sparks joy in you. I'll note here that I had to change the question for my own practice of her method because I'm still finding it hard to find joy in anything nowadays. Instead, for clothing I asked myself, "Does this make me happy? Do I like wearing it?" For books, I asked myself, "Am I excited about reading/seeing this book?" She also gives you a step by step guide for the order in which you should go through your things, leaving sentimental items for last. Additionally, she offers helpful suggestions about how to store your items most efficiently.
I think the thing that helps me the most, as someone who tends to attach too much emotional significance to things, is the way Kondo talks about how to appreciate your items and let them go. Thank the item for the part it has played in your life, and allow it to move onto its next role. She sort of gives each item its own life and encourages you to think about how nothing really wants to sit around being useless. Let that book that's collecting dust on your shelf go so that it can be used and enjoyed by someone else. Her attitude, though a little unconventional, really helped me to give myself permission to let go of stuff, even things given to me by other people.
In short, this book is an easy read, and I recommend it for anyone who wants to declutter their home but has trouble figuring out the best way. I'll warn you that her method does require a bit of time, but it is working for me so far, though I'm not even finished.
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