As I was feeding the cats last night and anticipating the new year, I remembered a moment from middle school in which someone did something mighty decent for me. I don't remember exactly what recalled the memory for me, but it made me happy to remember that even middle school boys can be decent people ;). Then I realized that, coming from a year with lots of stress and sorrows, it would be a great way to bring in the new year: remembering the mighty decent things people have done for you. I know there are plenty of things I won't remember now, but I would like to make a list starting today to which I will hopefully add as the year progresses. This way, I can remember how good people CAN be when things aren't so great. And sometimes, those little moments that probably mean nothing to the other person can help you remember that there is still good in the world, even when you just remember them later in life. So here is a start to a list of mighty decent things people have done for me, updated as I recall them. I think I will start a separate list for 2017.
I have to give the first line to my mom, who has done innumerable mighty decent things for me over the years, too many to name or recount. She is the person who taught me the value of mighty decent things and has shown me through action what it looks like to be a mighty decent person.
Next, a line for my parents-in-law, who raised a good man and continue to model decency for their grandchildren. They are extremely generous with both their time and their resources, and they take new friends and family members into their family as if they've always been there.
Now just a list (in chronological order, to be amended as I remember things)
7th grade: Josh W, for calling a poor little smitten girl (for whom I doubt he returned any feelings) on the phone after a really bad day just to apologize for a mean thing someone else had said.
9th grade: Marie M B, for coming over to see me when my dad died and bringing me a dark colored dress to wear to his funeral.
10th(?) grade: Wes B, for standing up for my character to my ex, even though we weren't really friends at that point
12th grade: Erin M P, for hand-making a beautiful butterfly pillow for me for my 18th birthday
2003(?): Jen S, for sending me a StoryPeople Art clip to remind of the sunshine during my first gray winter
2004: Triumph Baptist Church, especially Mrs. Hall, for putting up my team in one of their rental properties when our heater was broken the coldest week of the year
2016: Wendy A, for offering to take my dying grandmother into her and my uncle's house to insure that she had the love and care she needed
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Friday, September 16, 2016
Captain's Log Stardate July 2016: 12 Books Reading Challenge - Book recommended by a friend
I'm still catching up on blog posts, although I'm actually caught up to the current month in my books. July's book was The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo. It is my "book recommended by a friend" (who also takes care of Junior Mate for me two days a week).
I was going to do a book recommended by First Mate (one that he's been trying to get me to read for several years, actually). I even started that book, but this one is more pertinent to my life situation right now. You see, I come from a long line of packrats. We save stuff because we might need it in the future. We save stuff because we're too busy and/or lazy to do something with it right away. We save stuff because we feel guilty getting rid of something someone else gave us. (This one is actually deeper than this - my mom and I both have gifts as a love language, so getting rid of something someone gave us feels like getting rid of the person's love.) We save stuff because there are too many memories attached to the things. I am having trouble keeping our place tidy - both in terms of clutter and actual cleanliness. I've been thinking that maybe if I pared down my belongings some, it would help. In steps my friend with this book. He loaned it to me to read. The timing is perfect because we are moving, and I would like to start with a clean slate at the new place.
Over the past few years, my mom and I have been slowly moving away from this and toward letting more things go and cleaning out - simplifying. As I've been clawing out of the depression that set in when Junior Mate was born, I've recently been trying to really declutter. Our upcoming move feels like a perfect opportunity to do this; start with a clean slate. This book is incredibly helpful for people like me for a few reasons. It gives you a simple guideline for how to decide what to keep. (Kondo prefers to talk about what you should keep, rather than what you should discard, because it has more positive connotations and feels less oppressive.) The guideline is whether or not the item sparks joy in you. I'll note here that I had to change the question for my own practice of her method because I'm still finding it hard to find joy in anything nowadays. Instead, for clothing I asked myself, "Does this make me happy? Do I like wearing it?" For books, I asked myself, "Am I excited about reading/seeing this book?" She also gives you a step by step guide for the order in which you should go through your things, leaving sentimental items for last. Additionally, she offers helpful suggestions about how to store your items most efficiently.
I think the thing that helps me the most, as someone who tends to attach too much emotional significance to things, is the way Kondo talks about how to appreciate your items and let them go. Thank the item for the part it has played in your life, and allow it to move onto its next role. She sort of gives each item its own life and encourages you to think about how nothing really wants to sit around being useless. Let that book that's collecting dust on your shelf go so that it can be used and enjoyed by someone else. Her attitude, though a little unconventional, really helped me to give myself permission to let go of stuff, even things given to me by other people.
In short, this book is an easy read, and I recommend it for anyone who wants to declutter their home but has trouble figuring out the best way. I'll warn you that her method does require a bit of time, but it is working for me so far, though I'm not even finished.
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Captain's Log Stardate June 2016: 12 Book Reading Challenge - Book that was banned at some point
I know I'm still behind - June posting in September. I'm still trying to catch up!
June's book is a book that was banned at some point (mostly in the southern US), Uncle Tom's Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe.
I chose this book for this category because it interested me, I have never read it, and it fits my goal of all women authors. However, I think it also fits into "book you should have read in school" because it is so important to remember the history of slavery in our country and to remember that, though it feels long ago, it really wasn't. This is particularly pertinent considering the string of African-Americans who have died in police custody in the past few years. We cannot understand why #BlackLivesMatter is important without remembering the history and attitudes that have brought us to the present moment.
I really enjoyed this book, largely because it presents incredibly important material in a narrative format, which for some reason is the easiest format for me to read and ruminate upon. Stowe's characters aren't all as complex as one might like, and there's obviously a paternalistic attitude toward people of African descent in her writing. (This is probably not unexpected for any abolitionist of the period.) However, I thought her depiction of many different experiences of enslavement and different attitudes toward slavery was fantastic. Even those slaves who were owned by good masters (as the hero Uncle Tom is in the beginning of the novel) longed for freedom, not because their life was so harsh, but because it is a basic human longing to be in control of one's own body and destiny. Obviously, Stowe is showing her readers that even those slaves who live under good conditions would rather have their freedom. (She seems to fighting an argument that slaves with good masters probably have better lives than they would as free men.)
I think the arc of the story which I most appreciated was the intermediate arc (with the St. Clare family), in which Tom goes to a new, also kind, master (before being sold again to a terrible master). This part of the story resonated with me on many levels, largely because I feel like many of the attitudes Stowe presents in this intermediate family are still present today. I'll also admit that I found myself thinking that I probably would have been someone with an attitude rather like that of the intermediate owner. As much as I'd like to think I would have been a staunch abolitionist, I suspect that I would have been conflicted as Mr. St. Clare, feeling that slavery was entirely wrong but that it had become a necessary evil and with no real idea of how to change it. However, the part that I felt was VERY important in this intermediate arc was Mr. St. Clare's relationship with his cousin from Vermont, Miss Ophelia. I won't deny that, as someone raised in the Southeastern US, there was a part of me that was glad to see a recognition of racism in northerners who opposed slavery. But I think Miss Ophelia's attitude, particularly, is still very much around today.
Mr. St. Clare may be a slaveholder, but he freely allows his beloved daughter to play with the slave children in the household, walk with the adult slaves, and hug and kiss all of the slaves as friends and family. Miss Ophelia, though adamant that it is wrong and abominable to hold slaves, finds it nearly abominable that Mr. St. Clare and his family are so familiar with their slaves. St. Clare points out to her that she may want to free all the slaves, but she doesn't want any familiarity with them. And she most certainly does not want them moving to her state where "her people" will have to deal with them. She wants freedom for the slaves as long as the consequences of that freedom are kept far from her own life.
Having lived in both the Southeastern US and the Northeastern US, I find that these attitudes are still very much alive. It is quite true that there is still a stronger overt strain of racism present in the South. However, I have found far fewer white Northerners than Southerners who have actually lived in the same neighborhood as and/or gone to school with African-American citizens. I have heard white people talk about entire cities, mostly populated by people of color, with fear and loathing. I hear the "us" and "them" language almost more often here than where I grew up. Admittedly, I think there is certainly some aspect of socioeconomic privilege going on there, and in the Northeast, poorer areas are still largely populated by people of color, while more affluent neighborhoods tend to be almost entirely white. However, I clearly see a racism present in the Northeast that too many people cannot or refuse to acknowledge. The idea that racism is a thing of the past and/or that racism is primarily a problem in the South is just not true. It's just that racism looks different in different areas of the USA, and I think Stowe's characters actually do a pretty good job of showing us how our current racism comes from these attitudes of about 150 years ago.
In short, I think this is an important book and a good read to boot. If you haven't read it yet, and you have any interest in the history of slavery and its impact on current race relations, you should read it.
June's book is a book that was banned at some point (mostly in the southern US), Uncle Tom's Cabin, by Harriet Beecher Stowe.
I chose this book for this category because it interested me, I have never read it, and it fits my goal of all women authors. However, I think it also fits into "book you should have read in school" because it is so important to remember the history of slavery in our country and to remember that, though it feels long ago, it really wasn't. This is particularly pertinent considering the string of African-Americans who have died in police custody in the past few years. We cannot understand why #BlackLivesMatter is important without remembering the history and attitudes that have brought us to the present moment.
I really enjoyed this book, largely because it presents incredibly important material in a narrative format, which for some reason is the easiest format for me to read and ruminate upon. Stowe's characters aren't all as complex as one might like, and there's obviously a paternalistic attitude toward people of African descent in her writing. (This is probably not unexpected for any abolitionist of the period.) However, I thought her depiction of many different experiences of enslavement and different attitudes toward slavery was fantastic. Even those slaves who were owned by good masters (as the hero Uncle Tom is in the beginning of the novel) longed for freedom, not because their life was so harsh, but because it is a basic human longing to be in control of one's own body and destiny. Obviously, Stowe is showing her readers that even those slaves who live under good conditions would rather have their freedom. (She seems to fighting an argument that slaves with good masters probably have better lives than they would as free men.)
I think the arc of the story which I most appreciated was the intermediate arc (with the St. Clare family), in which Tom goes to a new, also kind, master (before being sold again to a terrible master). This part of the story resonated with me on many levels, largely because I feel like many of the attitudes Stowe presents in this intermediate family are still present today. I'll also admit that I found myself thinking that I probably would have been someone with an attitude rather like that of the intermediate owner. As much as I'd like to think I would have been a staunch abolitionist, I suspect that I would have been conflicted as Mr. St. Clare, feeling that slavery was entirely wrong but that it had become a necessary evil and with no real idea of how to change it. However, the part that I felt was VERY important in this intermediate arc was Mr. St. Clare's relationship with his cousin from Vermont, Miss Ophelia. I won't deny that, as someone raised in the Southeastern US, there was a part of me that was glad to see a recognition of racism in northerners who opposed slavery. But I think Miss Ophelia's attitude, particularly, is still very much around today.
Mr. St. Clare may be a slaveholder, but he freely allows his beloved daughter to play with the slave children in the household, walk with the adult slaves, and hug and kiss all of the slaves as friends and family. Miss Ophelia, though adamant that it is wrong and abominable to hold slaves, finds it nearly abominable that Mr. St. Clare and his family are so familiar with their slaves. St. Clare points out to her that she may want to free all the slaves, but she doesn't want any familiarity with them. And she most certainly does not want them moving to her state where "her people" will have to deal with them. She wants freedom for the slaves as long as the consequences of that freedom are kept far from her own life.
Having lived in both the Southeastern US and the Northeastern US, I find that these attitudes are still very much alive. It is quite true that there is still a stronger overt strain of racism present in the South. However, I have found far fewer white Northerners than Southerners who have actually lived in the same neighborhood as and/or gone to school with African-American citizens. I have heard white people talk about entire cities, mostly populated by people of color, with fear and loathing. I hear the "us" and "them" language almost more often here than where I grew up. Admittedly, I think there is certainly some aspect of socioeconomic privilege going on there, and in the Northeast, poorer areas are still largely populated by people of color, while more affluent neighborhoods tend to be almost entirely white. However, I clearly see a racism present in the Northeast that too many people cannot or refuse to acknowledge. The idea that racism is a thing of the past and/or that racism is primarily a problem in the South is just not true. It's just that racism looks different in different areas of the USA, and I think Stowe's characters actually do a pretty good job of showing us how our current racism comes from these attitudes of about 150 years ago.
In short, I think this is an important book and a good read to boot. If you haven't read it yet, and you have any interest in the history of slavery and its impact on current race relations, you should read it.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
Captain's Log Stardate May 2016: 12 Book Reading Challenge - Book you've already read at least once
I originally intended to save this category for the end of the year because I was planning to read the first in a series. I knew that I would want to read the whole series again after reading it and wanted to be done with the challenge in order to do that. However, after getting behind in April and May, I decided to go ahead and do this category for May to help catch up. I knew it would be a quick and fun read. My book for this category is Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, by J.K. Rowling (picture links to Amazon sale page).
I didn't get into the Harry Potter series until right before the fifth book was released, so this one had been out for a while before I read it. I was also in college when the first book was published, so I can't say that I was raised with HP. However, I really enjoyed the series and had a couple of quite close friends with whom I debated the possibilities for the coming books and talked about theories. During a time in my life when I was pretty depressed and lonely, the online HP community gave me some friends and a place to escape through fanfic and discussion with others. In short, it's been an important series in my life but not entirely life-shaping.
I enjoyed rereading the first book, not only because the books are fun but also because it was a nice change from the academic book I had read just prior. I actually think most of the movies are pretty good and accurate representations of the books, but I love reading the books. They have so many little details that just can't be explained or really represented in the visual form. It still amazes me how Rowling was able to come up with such an elaborate and detailed imaginary world. I don't know if I once had that type of imagination and had it squashed out of me by (my own) perfectionism and schooling or if I'm just not that creative. However, she definitely creates a world that you can enter with your whole mind, and even heart, and grow to love. There are also some great lessons about good and evil throughout the series that are good for both children and adults. I think that's one of the reasons I still love reading children's/young adult novels. Often, the themes therein are ones that adults need to remember or relearn as well. This particular book reminds us that appearances can sometimes deceive, to give people the benefit of the doubt, and that sometimes, supporting your friends is more important than being right.
I enjoyed rereading the first book, not only because the books are fun but also because it was a nice change from the academic book I had read just prior. I actually think most of the movies are pretty good and accurate representations of the books, but I love reading the books. They have so many little details that just can't be explained or really represented in the visual form. It still amazes me how Rowling was able to come up with such an elaborate and detailed imaginary world. I don't know if I once had that type of imagination and had it squashed out of me by (my own) perfectionism and schooling or if I'm just not that creative. However, she definitely creates a world that you can enter with your whole mind, and even heart, and grow to love. There are also some great lessons about good and evil throughout the series that are good for both children and adults. I think that's one of the reasons I still love reading children's/young adult novels. Often, the themes therein are ones that adults need to remember or relearn as well. This particular book reminds us that appearances can sometimes deceive, to give people the benefit of the doubt, and that sometimes, supporting your friends is more important than being right.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Captain's Log Stardate April 2016: 12 Book Reading Challenge - Book you should have read in school
I know it's mid-June, so it's a bit strange to make the date April 2016. However, April was busy, and I also had some depression I was dealing with. Thus, it took me until the end of May to finally finish my April book. Hopefully I'll be able to catch up in June with my May book and my June book. Anyway, this month's book is a book I was supposed to read in seminary. Actually, I was only supposed to read a portion of it for my introductory preaching class, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to read the whole thing now. I can't remember if I actually read the portions I marked with a flag or not, but I didn't see any underlinings, which indicates I probably didn't. The book is Women Preaching: Theology and Practice through the Ages, by Eunjoo Mary Kim. (Photo links to the book on Amazon.)
Generally, I think this is a good book, especially if you're looking for an academic treatment of women preachers through history. It's got good information, gives good examples, and lays down some useful arguments for why women should be allowed to preach. Honestly, though, getting through it made me realize that I just really prefer fiction and/or easy reading. Part of the reason it took me so long to read it was because I didn't really find myself *wanting* to read it. I also found myself busy (and battling a bit of depression) during April and May, but I really just kind of stalled out on it. I am glad that I finally did finish it, but I doubt I'll be picking it up again unless I go back to school for some reason.
This is a good academic treatment of different roles women's preaching has taken throughout the history of the church. A lot of what Kim has to say focuses on the transformative and prophetic (i.e. challenging) voice of women preaching. Because this was taught as an important role of preaching in my seminary, I appreciate this focus. Kim's focuses are on women preaching the risen Christ (scripture/early church); preaching as subversive rhetoric (medieval/postmedieval church); preaching with authority (Reformation to early 20th century); and preaching and the politics of God (focusing on Korean preachers during colonial and postcolonial periods). Kim uses 2-3 examples in each chapter to illustrate each of these focuses, highlighting not only bits of writing/preaching from each women, but outlining how their very lives were examples of preaching. At the end of the book, Kim shares three different sermons she has delivered during her preaching career.
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